Alternative Uses for Computers?
Aside from their usual uses, and with a little imagination, there are plenty of alternative ways to use either your new PC, or a defunct old one, plus many of the little peripherals that you may not have thought of…
CD/DVD DRINKS MATSAre you fed up with the myriad of CD’s and DVD’s that steadily grow and replicate to eventually eat up all of your workspace? All you need is a few tins of spray paint, some transfers, an artistic bent and a drop of imagination and you have your own line in modern day drinks coasters to protect your PC desk from the perils of a coffee cup! Not only is it a cost saving measure, and very eco-friendly, it means you can finally do something useful with those New Kids on the Block CD’s.
A PIECE OF MODERN ARTFollowing the lead taken by Tracy Emin and Damien Hirst, why not drape your computer and the desk it sits on in used tissues, bits of paper as well as several pens, a desk tidy and the obligatory half decayed mouse mat? Decide that the resulting mess is a “piece of art” which exemplifies your attitude to modern working conditions. Then try selling it to a rich modern art collector for about $6m, and then you can go and buy a brand new desk and PC and start the whole process over again.
OAKLAND RAIDERS OFFENSEReplace the entire Oakland Raiders offense with 11 old PC units. They will certainly be almost equally as productive and have the same level of mobility. However they will be markedly cheaper than Russell, McFadden and co and ensure that owner Al Davis has plenty of money to pay for the next bunch of vastly overpaid failures that he picks from the next few NFL drafts!
DESKTOP PC JENGAAll over the world there are hundreds of old desktop or tower units sat collecting dust in storerooms all over the globe. Collect as many of the older units as you can and pile them on top of each other as high as you can and you have your own game of Desktop PC Jenga! A sledgehammer each and you have to knock a pc out of the tower without toppling it over. Great fun for the whole office, if you are all mildly psychotic of course…
MOUSE NUNCHUKSAre you one of the many who has converted to a wireless mouse and keyboard? All over the world there are millions of redundant wired mice sitting in draws slowly decaying and all set to fill a landfill site the size of Belgium. Instead, why not recycle them? Take two of mice. Tie them together in the middle using the two USB sockets and hey presto! You have your own Mouse Nunchuks!
BUILDING BLOCKSWith so many obsolete computers about, why not start using them as a replacement for bricks? You could make your own “wall of PC’s” and begin to construct the first PC house in history! Windows however would not be included as standard, plus when you try to get in to use the PC house, there is no guarantee that it will allow you to use it first time.
PC-OMINOESWe’ve all seen videos of the latest world record attempt by some bored students in some odd corner of Eastern Europe trying to beat the world domino toppling record, only to be thwarted when a pigeon knocks one over with a gentle brush of its wing, and send 5.6m dominos and 6 months work, into the abyss. Solve that problem, by replacing the dominos with PC’s! A simple and eco-friendly way to ensure outdated PC’s retain at least a modicum of use.
AND NOW A REALLY RIDICULOUS IDEA…I apologise in advance for this. It is the whimsical rantings of a mind tainted with a degree of lunacy and sheer optimism that defies rational belief. Why not, collect all the old PC’s and all the associated cables bits and bobs and ship them to poorer countries to be used in schools to improve the quality of life for people who basically have nothing? I know! It is laughable isn’t it? The nonsensical ranting of a madman! Anyone for a game of PC-Ominoes?
STRESS TOYAs well as causing stress to untold millions, the PC if used wisely can also provide relief from stress in certain situations. Those situations tend to be a. If you’ve been fired from work, b. You’ve won the lottery or c. That new PC you ordered has just arrived. If you are lucky to find yourself in any of the situations above, then relieve stress by taking your broken, miscreant PC into a breakers yard and attack it with a sledgehammer!
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PC HUNTERInstead of granting licenses for hunters to disappear off into the wilds to shoot things that are small, cute and furry why not instead release all the redundant PC’s into the wilds of Vermont and let hunters roam freely in the woods shooting them instead?